Grieving mom seeks answers after learning teen son died by suicide in Vancouver foster home

Ocean Ou, 16, died by suicide at a group home in East Vancouver on Dec. 18. (Erin Wyatt)

Editor's note: If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts or mental health matters, help is available through Talk Suicide Canada, at 1-833-456-4566.

A grieving Vancouver mother is looking for answers after learning her 16-year-old son died by suicide while in foster care.

Erin Wyatt, 46, told CTV News she learned about her son Ocean’s death from police on Sunday, but has yet to receive any further information from the Ministry of Children and Family Development.

“The police came to my home and told me that Ocean had died by suicide,” Wyatt said. “The MCFD never contacted me, and they still haven’t.”

Wyatt said when she reached out to the ministry on Monday, she was told Ocean’s case worker was on holidays.

The teenager was removed from Wyatt’s care about a year ago. The mother said Ocean was diagnosed with autism, and would sometimes have episodes at the home where she is still raising his six siblings.

“The home isn’t unsafe, I don’t do drugs, I have all the siblings, I don’t abuse Ocean,” Wyatt said Wednesday.

She last saw her son on Saturday, and said he seemed to be in good spirits, though he texted her later that night to reveal he’d made a formal complaint about his care to the ministry. Wyatt sobbed as she read the last message she received from her son:

“I am on my own. Foster care does not drive me to school. It does not help me with homework. It does not provide good food for me. It does not provide enough funding ever. It does nothing for me.”

Wyatt said her son stopped responding to her texts the next morning, but that she wasn’t initially concerned since he’s a teenager who likes to sleep in, and who also attended church every Sunday.

The police later arrived to deliver the heartbreaking news.

In an email to CTV News, the Ministry of Children and Family Development said it can’t comment on individual cases — including whether it received any reports of issues regarding Ocean’s care.

Instead, the ministry offered answers regarding its procedure for handling deaths by suicide in foster care.

“In the event that a sudden or unexpected death occurs, police and authorities are notified and respond. As soon as ministry staff are notified, and as soon as it is appropriate to do so, ministry staff reach out to the family to offer supports,” the ministry wrote.

Wyatt said she’s been calling the ministry daily since Monday but has not been offered any support.

The ministry also initiates a child and family practice review in the event of a child or youth’s fatality in care.

“Practice reviews include a summary of the family’s involvement with the ministry or other service providers and an analysis of the information and findings. The review may result in action plans to address practice issues that have been identified,” the ministry said in its email.

The BC Coroners Service confirmed it is also conducting an investigation into Ocean’s death.

The teenager’s suicide while in foster care may be the only one recorded this year. The Office of the Representative for Children and Youth told CTV News there were none confirmed between January and November.

Since 2012, which is when the office began collecting data on deaths in provincial care, the annual toll has reached as high as 15.

In the last fiscal year, however, 510 cases of suicide ideation or suicide attempts were recorded, according to representative Jennifer Charlesworth. Of those cases, Charlesworth said 275 were linked to cisgender females, 131 were gender-diverse youth, and 104 were cisgender males.

“We call these cases of the unbelonged – they feel like no ones cares about them, like they don’t have meaning or purpose, they’re not connected to people who love and support them,” Charlesworth said. “That’s trauma speaking, that’s pain speaking. It’s a reminder to us all that if we see young people struggling or injuring themselves, we shouldn’t be appalled or reactive, we need to be supportive and compassionate.”

In her experience, Charlesworth said foster homes rarely face consequences in the event of a death by suicide because there are rarely cases of negligence involved.

Wyatt said Ocean’s death caught her by surprise, particularly coming just one week ahead of Christmas – a holiday she said he was very excited about.

“He made a lot of plans with us,” Wyatt said, adding that her son loved his siblings, visited family twice a week, and was always involved with birthday celebrations and holidays.