A Coquitlam family is raising questions about how young is too young to be disciplined at school after a classmate held a knife to their seven-year-old daughter’s throat.

The young boy faced meetings with school officials focused on understanding what happened rather than any consequences, say the parents of the girl, who say something more should have been done to deter what they’re calling threatening behaviour.

“I know they’re seven years old, but in my mind that’s assault with a deadly weapon,” said Brent Mooney, the girl’s dad. He added it was his daughter, not the boy, who changed schools after the incident.

“There should have been something done. I feel really bad that my daughter had to leave the school she’s been at after three years,” he said.

The incident happened in November, when the girl saw the boy with a pocketknife in an area of the classroom where the children kept personal effects.

“He held a pocketknife up to my throat. I got scared and he kept putting it closer. He said if I tell one person he’ll cut off my wrist, and if I tell more people he’ll cut off my head,” the girl told CTV News.

She said she didn’t tell anyone because both sets of parents knew each other, and worried that the incident would get back to the boy.

“I didn’t want to tell my parents, because I thought he would do it,” she said.

But in the meantime the girl became withdrawn and quiet – something her parents thought was related to having a new sibling.

It wasn’t until late April that the girl told her parents what had happened.

“I was shocked,” said her mom, Kristina Barnes. “I had hoped that it wasn’t true.”

The parents took this to the school principal, and that kicked off a series of meetings between district staff, the principal, and the children and parents involved.

“The school district implemented an age-appropriate response using a teaching and restorative approach, versus a punitive one, to help the students understand what occurred and why it was not appropriate,” said district spokesman Peter Chevrier in a statement.

Dr. Shimi Kang, a child psychiatrist and author, says the district was right to take a compassionate approach – but that a consequence can send a message that even young children can pick up on.

“You definitely need to send a signal that it’s not OK to bring a weapon to school,” Kang said. “That should be followed by a significant consequence that is clear.”

Afterwards, everyone involved can focus on getting past the incident, she said.

“Get appropriate counseling and therapy and support. But also really quickly move to the issues of resilience,” she said.

Coquitlam School District’s policies prohibit weapons on school property and at school functions. The policy allows principals to confiscate the weapons, suspend the students, remove people from the property and do a threat assessment.

The policy also “authorizes principals and or vice principals to impose an appropriate level of consequences upon any student threatening the safety or welfare of others."

CTV News is not identifying the children or the school involved in the incident.