Everybody knows Nickelback suck. No rock band, perhaps in history, takes to the stage with such a consensus of contempt.
The band themselves have long since accepted this opinion, producing their finest work in this comedy video (warning: strong language) parodying the petition then circulating to have them removed from the Detroit Lions’ Thanksgiving game halftime show three seasons ago.
Last night saw Vancouver’s most hated musical export return to their hometown with a concert at Rogers Arena. And as if the universe itself was doing everything within its power to avoid hearing Nickelback, the evening started with a moment of pure Spinal Tap, singer Chad Kroeger’s lead vocal mic falling silent for opener “Million Miles an Hour.”
It turns out that universal contempt prepares a frontman well for an instant and unexpected removal of dignity.
“Vancouveeeeeeer! What is going on?” he proclaimed with a smile once power had been restored. “Not my microphone!”
Nickelback can be accused of many misdemeanours, but taking themselves seriously is not among them, a point ably illustrated by the series of self-effacing Polaroids appearing on the video screen behind the band during “Photograph,” the first of many cheese-laden ballads.
It wasn’t just the slow jams –“Hero,” “Far Away” and “Someday” the prime culprits – delivered with a thick veneer of hokeyness. Rocker “What Are You Waiting For?” was accompanied by a video montage of extreme sports, its general-purpose carpe diem message readymade for a future truck or light beer commercial. “She Keeps Me Up” was the whitest funk imaginable, while “When We Stand Together” failed to rally the masses with its heavy-handed call for macro-economic wealth distribution. The band’s other ‘political’ song, “Edge of a Revolution,” is similarly unlikely to dismantle corporate globalisation any time in the immediate future.
And yet, despite the continual waves of simplistic lyrics and cheap sentiment, the confusing reality is that Nickelback put on a proper arena rock show.
The band riffed on Metallica’s “Master Of Puppets” and Pantera’s “Walk” (better songs than reside in their own back catalogue) while engaging in the “Nickelback tradition” of throwing beers and merch into the crowd. Kroeger and fellow guitarist Ryan Peake did take the shortest possible cut to audience involvement by encouraging singalongs to “Hotel California” and “Summer of ’69.” And the band stopped for shots and laughs with Canucks jersey-clad roadie ‘Bradlee’ at least four times during the set. As art, it’s poor. But as a drinking party, what the heck?
“Please sing half as loud to our songs as you did to Bryan Adams,” grinned Kroeger, before launching into “Rock Star.”
This is a band that kept an arena on its feet, singing its collective hearts out, for 100 minutes. Drummer Daniel Adair (kudos for the Voivod t-shirt) pounded his way through the entire concert, including a blistering solo on Led Zeppelin’s “Moby Dick.” Peake led the band through a faithful and rocking rendition of the Foo Fighters’ “Everlong.” “How You Remind Me,” overplayed to saturation, still sounds like a genuine hit record.
Fans will accuse the band’s countless critics of being elitists. And, in a sense, they’d be right: Nickelback are universally despised by anyone with an affection for rock music with nuance, intelligence or originality. But that’s hardly the point with Nickelback. They’re not asking questions. They’re inviting you to enjoy yourself.
“I f***in’ love you Vancouver!” howled Kroeger as the last chord of “Burn It To The Ground” rang out. In the cold light of today’s hung-over mornings, there are a few thousand Vancouverites who feel the same way.