B.C. man disrupts track meet, asks for confirmation of 9-year-old's gender

Warning: This story contains transphobic language. 

When Heidi Starr went to her daughter’s track and field meet in Kelowna last week, she thought she’d be cheering her child on—not shielding her from transphobia.

The nine-year-old was competing in two events at Kelowna’s Apple Bowl on June 8—the discus throw and shot put—according to her mother.

Starr says her daughter was elated after placing second in the first event, but things took a turn for the worse when the fourth grader lined up for her turn to compete in shot put.

“A gentleman stepped out of the crowd, who I understand is a grandfather of a person who was competing, and he said ‘Hey! This is a girls’ event, why are boys throwing?’” Starr told CTV News on Tuesday, adding she had never seen this man before.

After some confusion, Starr realized that he was pointing at her daughter—who has a pixie cut hairstyle—while accusing the volunteer of allowing boys to compete in the event.

When she stepped in to explain that her child—one of two he believed were boys—was in fact a girl, Starr says he dismissed her and insisted the kids were either boys or transgender.

“At this time, his wife started yelling that my ex-wife and I—parents of my daughter—and other parents of trans kids were genital mutilators and groomers, and the man himself began demanding to see a certificate proving my daughter was born a girl,” Starr said.

There was no security at this event, which was a track and field meet for elementary students across the region, but Starr says some of the “more assertive” parent volunteers got together and talked to the man, who refused to leave but was eventually escorted out once the event concluded.

MAN DENIES ALLEGATIONS: I JUST THOUGHT 'IT'S A BOY'

The grandfather in question, Josef Tesar, disputed Starr’s version of events.

In a phone interview with CTV News Vancouver, he said he and his wife never berated Starr and her daughter.

He admits he did ask an official whether the event was coed after seeing Starr’s daughter.

“I asked in private, not the kid. I didn’t talk towards the kid, I didn’t put any hate against the kids. I didn’t tell the kid he’s [sic] a trans. I went to the officials and I only asked one question: if it’s a mixed competition,” he said.

He said that, based on his 17-year experience of coaching kids, he thought she wasn’t a girl.

“I saw her and in my mind and my gut feeling, I just thought ‘It’s a boy,’” Tesar said.

Starr said she wasn’t surprised to learn Tesar denied the allegations but insists there are dozens of witnesses who can corroborate her version of events.

Starr says the exchange shook her daughter “to the core,” adding her child was in tears all day.

“She has two gay moms, she was born into a lesbian family, she is well aware and completely understands the gender spectrum, orientation, all of that, but we have never exposed her to the hate. That’s the first time she’s ever experienced that,” Starr says.

Kelowna RCMP says it has launched an investigation into the incident after receiving “a number of messages from concerned citizens.”

While Mounties provided few details, citing limitations of the Privacy Act, the community is being encouraged to speak out against “discriminatory behaviours.”

“If our community takes action together, this will assist us in the ultimate goal of a diverse, inclusive and safe community for all. Your willingness to take an active role demonstrates your care and responsibility,” Kelowna RCMP wrote in a statement Tuesday.

In response to media coverage of the alleged verbal assault, B.C.’s premier is speaking out as well.

“This kind of hate is not acceptable or welcome in British Columbia,” David Eby wrote on Twitter Tuesday. “Let’s keep calling out transphobia when we see it. Hate hurts everyone. And let’s stand with this girl and everyone who is targeted just for being themselves.”

Starr teared up when she learned about the premier’s support.

“I had no idea, but I think it’s so important for people who have a voice and a platform to speak up about how terrible this was. This is the antithesis of protecting children,” she said.

Starr says her daughter, who is turning 10 years old on Thursday, understands this story has gone viral.

“She said, ‘You know, I think everything happened with the creepy carrot’ that’s what she calls the man, ‘So that the story could go viral, so that my birthday gift is to make change,’” Starr said.

Her daughter also wanted to make sure one thing was clear.

“Just tell them I really think I would have won a ribbon if that man hadn’t been yelling at me,” Starr said, repeating her child’s message to the media.

This is Starr’s second experience with anti-queer rhetoric since December, when she was physically assaulted during a protest over a drag holiday fundraiser at DunnEnzies Pizza.

“I never thought my cisgender, female-identifying nine-year-old would need to be defended against a transphobic attack. It’s genuinely shook the whole family. We had to question whether this community was safe for us to be raising our child,” Starr said.

She also worries for the other children who witnessed the hateful exchange.

“My child wasn’t the only one who experienced what went on. The other kid who was targeted straight up ran away. All the other children who had to witness this man stopping the entire shot put event to demand gender validation--all those kids were affected by that,” Starr said.

The superintendent and CEO of Central Okanagan Public Schools says the community has shown “tremendous allyship and concern” in the aftermath of the incident.

“We will continue to check in and ensure supports are available to anyone affected by the incident,” Kevin Kaardal said in a statement Tuesday.

He also says the people involved—whose identities have not been confirmed by officials—have been banned from future events taking place on district property.

“We expect that adults who are invited to celebrate student success govern their behaviour and conduct themselves with the civility and respect we expect from students,” said Kaardal.