The grieving husband of a B.C. woman who took her own life two months after after giving birth is urging new moms not to suffer in silence.
The body of Florence Leung was found in the water near Bowen Island in November, ending a desperate search to find her.
The 32-year-old registered nurse was struggling with anxiety and had been diagnosed with postpartum depression after the birth of her first child, a boy.
Her husband Kim Chen released a moving statement on the Facebook page Remembering Mother Florence Leung Tuesday, telling mothers experiencing anxiety or depression to open up, and not feel bad if they can't exclusively breastfeed.
"Please seek help and talk about your feelings. You are not alone. You are not a bad mother," he wrote.
Chen said many mothers, including his wife, experience a tremendous amount of unfair pressure to breastfeed as soon as they give birth, even though many struggle to do so.
"Do not ever feel bad or guilty about not being able to 'exclusively breastfeed,' even though you may feel the pressure to do so based on posters in maternity wards, brochures in prenatal classes, and teachings at breastfeeding classes," he wrote.
Chen believes in the benefits of breast milk, but says there needs to be an understanding that it's OK to supplement with formula to feed babies.
In the aftermath of Leung's death, Chen says he feels the foundation of his life was taken apart, and he has been "living in survival mode."
"Living a day at a time, sometimes an hour at a time -- exactly like many people taught me to do," he wrote.
"As the initial shock and emotional numbness slowly subsides, I'm experiencing more flashbacks of memories from our 6.5 years of happiness, and for now these memories tend to trigger pain and intense longing."
An administrator on the Facebook page thanked those who read the post, saying it's important to start an important dialogue around health and mental well-being for new and expectant mothers.
Chen's emotional statement hit a chord with mothers, who weighed in on the post to share their own experiences with PPD and the pressure to breastfeed after they gave birth.
Mariko Amano-So, who went to high school with Leung, recalled feeling like "a complete failure" after her milk supply didn't come in right after the birth of her daughter.
Amano-So said it seems she only heard about the "good stories" of how easy it is for new moms, but she suffered silently because she was too ashamed to say anything "because she didn't know better."
She says all new parents, regardless of their circumstance, need to go easy on themselves – and each other.
"For all the new moms and parents out there for that matter, who are sleep deprived, who feel alone, whose bodies still hurt and to those who are doing their best and feel like they are just barely making it. You are not a failure, most of us are feeling the exact same as you. We are in the same boat. We get you," she wrote.
Mom Melissa Ward echoed the sentiment about her own "baby blues" after struggling to breastfeed exclusively.
"[It's] time to stop adding stress to us already fragile new moms," she posted.
