A Victoria woman who was bilked out of $100,000 by a con man she met on Match.com is hoping her misfortune will serve as a warning to others.

Pat Leary met “Fredrik” on the dating site in January and the two spent months exchanging dozens of emails and phone calls.

“I put my heart out there and I trusted,” Leary said. “I just wholeheartedly believed in the love he said he had for me and I was reciprocating it.”

Leary, who describes herself as an outgoing person, said she’d never been in a relationship like it before. Fredrik said they couldn't meet in person, however, because he was overseas working on a project.

The con man, who claimed to be a Vancouver Island engineer, eventually asked for a loan that would let him finish work and come home to her. He pleaded for Leary's help in a message.

“I just don’t know how to deal with this,” he wrote. “Baby please I know this is difficult but help me save this project.”

He signed off with “Love forever and always, Fredrik.”

Leary went into debt to send him $100,000, though she told CTV News she lost much more than money.

“I was grieving a love I thought I had,” she said. “I look at the emails I sent to him and I just think, ‘Oh my God.’”

Police said such scams are all-too common, and people should think twice before judging victims like Leary.

“It happens to all people, all walks of life, all professions,” Victoria police investigator Dawndra Tolsma said. “These people know their job. They do it very well, they know what to say and when to say it and what buttons to push.”

Leary said the ordeal still hurts but at least she’s learned to laugh at it.

“After I went through my crying session I thought, ‘Damn you. You’re not doing this to me… You took away my money but damnit, you’re not going to change the personality.’”

With a report from CTV Vancouver’s Ed Watson